My Wedding Toast

I was so honored to be the best man at my brother's wedding! Many people really liked my toast, despite the fact it was delivered with a very sore throat! Here it is again! Enjoy!

Good evening ladies and gentlemen-
On behalf of our family, we would like to welcome you and thank you all for joining us in this very special day. We are all very happy for David and we can’t be happier that Miranda is now part of our family. I always said it would take a very special person to fit into our family and Miranda, you’re a perfect fit!
I feel like I should say a few words about the groom as I’ve known him longer than most of you here, with the exception of course, of our parents. David has always been in my life. At first he was pretty useless and I distinctly remember losing sleep the first night he was came home. When he got older, he was able to do more, such as throw a rock at my head and stalk me relentlessly wanting to play Star Wars Action Figures. On my part, besides giving blood in return, I was able to give him wise and brotherly advice, such as "Stay out of my room dork and don’t touch my stuff or you’ll be sorry!" I do remember a turning point when my mother sat me down and explained how much he looked up to me and really liked me and from that point on, he was a little less annoying. Now I am his number one fan and anyone who knows me for over a minute has heard ad nauseum about my only brother, the talented artist, political genius, jazz musician and courtroom attorney.
What some of you might not know that I’m also well acquainted with the bride. Growing up in the small fishpond of Beloit, Kansas it was impossible not to notice someone so energetic and fun. A friend to everyone and loved by all, Miranda just happened to be in the Triangle Booster 4-H group that David and I joined in elementary school. She is the reason I know the words to "Aardvarks Are Our Friends" (to the tune of "Yankee Doodle") and the ever popular Christmas classic, "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." She and I became good friends in high school band and were both drum majors, in community orchestra and Student Council. She was even nice enough to agree be my date for not only Homecoming but also Senior Prom. Being with Miranda, makes life a lot more fun and I, for one, am really looking forward to future family functions!
Now, I would like to think I had a hand in bringing these two love-birds together. You see, it was me who wrote all the Beloitian ex-pats living in Kansas City to tell them Miranda Boettcher was moving there. And my brother David was nice enough to take Miranda out and about and show her around. Later that summer when I was home on a visit, my dear brother asked my advice on whether he should take this friendship to a more serious level. Would it bother me? Typically my only concern was of course, for myself. What if it all went horribly wrong and I would lose one of my good friends? Well I’m very pleased my fears were never realized and here we are today celebrating their union.
I have read somewhere that the best man is supposed to end his speech with some advice for the happy couple. My advice to Miranda can be summed up in one word, two syllables "ear-plugs." Daytime, nighttime, whenever you feel they’re needed! As for my baby brother David- "Stay out of her room dork and don’t even think of touching her stuff!.... Or you’ll be sorry!" Now let’s raise our glasses- To David and Miranda! (toast!)