Thursday, August 18, 2005

Oh Brother, it's my Bother

So this Friday (August 19th) is my brother's birthday. He'll be 29. I sent him a present but unfortunately it won't reach him in time.
Also this weekend my parents are celebrating their 40th anniversary a week early. My brother and I got them a package tour of Parkville, MO (link above). I'm sad that the whole family will be there except for me. Living abroad for the past 4 years I've guess they've gotten used to me not being there for family events. During the year we usually get together for Easter, Mother's Day, birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Plus other weekends when it works out. Now that my grandma has moved next door to my parents, we have often had more extended family come to visit than usual. In addition, my brother got married recently and I really find the company of my sister-in-law enjoyable.
The longer and longer I stayed in a culture that highly values being part of a family, I kept seeing a mirror being held up to me. Also the past three years of dating a Korean from a large family (9 kids), I kept getting this sense that my place was closer to my family and how that was an important part of my identity. However I also felt my place was with my boyfriend as well (this month marks three years of dating) and so there was conflict. Moving to Canada was supposed to be this compromise. I could be close to my partner as well as accessible to my family. I really felt (and still feel) that God has lead us here.

So I want to thank God for my family and ask his leading in the future.

Here's a part of the song Swan Dive from Ani DiFranco (lyrical godess) that has become my theme song in the past couple of weeks:
cuz they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound
i'm just going to get my feet wet
until i drown


For this song in its entirety go here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/anidifranco/swandive.html

2 comments:

Jolie said...

I actually listened to this song today in my car. Of course I thought you and your visit to Portland years ago. We talked about the different meanings of this song. Good times!

It is sad that you are closer, yet still so far away. I wish that our country (and family) was more progressive and allowed you to have the life you were meant to live. That life isn't in the closet. So I'm glad you are making a home in a country that allows you this freedom. I just wish it was our country, because I'm selfish and wish you were closer. I also wish it was our country because I'm ashamed that in 2005 we are still discriminating against an entire sect of the popluation.

abogado-david said...

Thanks for the kind words, bro. I am happy that it is at least easier to call you when I want (no agnoizing over the 14-hour time difference anymore), but I wish--well, I hope we will all get to see a lot more of each other. We are praying for your success in Canada.