Wednesday, March 26, 2008
So when given the opportunity to write my life story in only six words, I jumped at the chance!
As with all good writers, I had to read what everyone else had done to get an idea of what worked and what didn't work.
People often went for lists. Tea. Riesling. Pinot. Zinfandel. Creemore. Horlicks. (Jamie Drummond, Sommelier, Jamie Kennedy Kitchens)
Others had two short sentences. Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, wrote: "Me see world. Me write stories."
However, what attracted me most were the one-liners that brilliantly said it all, headline-style. Battled injustice wherever I saw it. (Michel Ladouceur, Kingston)
So here's mine. Sadly I couldn't just have one BUT had to have two. Enjoy!
Kansas boy becomes man in Korea.
Search for peace, joy and love discontinued.
Share your story. If you dare! :)
Saturday, March 15, 2008
This dilema was resolved for me when I considered a new idea. What if it's not exclusively one or the other but both? Furthermore, while at the same time admitting I'm a fallible human being, I choose to focus on seeing myself as God sees me? Sort of like those optical illusions that are two pictures at once?
Constantly viewing myself as a sinner has been detrimental in my efforts to be closer to God. Responses like, "Lord, I'm not worthy to receive you but only say the words and I shall be healed," and hearing numerous sermons about the many sins I was guilty of (in either thought or deed) led me to believe I would never be good enough for God. I will fail and fail again. Is it any wonder then why so many gay Christians give up and quit the church or give up and quit life? However if I choose to see myself as the essence of love, joy and peace, I can rise above the self-loathing unworthiness and be able to smile at the world and proclaim "I am a beautiful, marvelous, dare I say, fabulous creation of God."
To you, this discovery many seem pretty obvious, but it took reading a self-help book to get it through my head. I wasn't happy because I didn't believe I was worthy of happiness. I thought happiness took hard work and sacrifice. That, to have a good life, I must fill my life with good things.
Instead, the author stated that anyone and everyone could be happy if they chose happiness. In spite of influencers (positive and negative) all around me, I can choose, each day, to be happy now, in this moment. It's not about "bettering myself" through products, exercise, new clothes, work, affirmations or pleasures. It's about accessing the peace, love and joy that dwell within me to shine through me to rest of the world.
There is a trite saying that applies here: "Let God and Let God." I actually appreciate the simplicity of that imperative statement (Who's a grammar teacher?). The following song has always been a favourite of mine and now I can see how it really applies to my life.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Danifesto's Musterbation List!
To be happy I must move out of my parents' house/to Korea/to Canada.
To be happy I must get a boyfriend/move in/get engaged/get married.
To be happy I must be in a relationship/a better one/a better one/a long-term one/ with someone who isn't a dork/ with someone smarter/cuter/hotter/faithful/funny/a better one....
To be happy I must look amazingly fabulous at all times/especially for this job interview/ date/party
I will be happy when I finish high school/ university/ student teaching.
To be happy I must pay off my student loans/the loan from my parents/my car loan.
To be happy I must get a car/ buy property/ get a house.
To be happy I must be taller/ bigger here/ smaller there/ more hair here/but less hair there/ have six pack abs!
To be happy I must have a job/a better job/ a better paying job / a job I can be out at.
To be happy I must go to church every Sunday/ at a church that's gay friendly/ that isn't too far away/ with good music/ that has services at the time I can get my butt out of bed.
To be happy I must get approval from my parents.
To be happy I must have a cat/ plants/ a child/ children.
To be happy I must have all my worldly belongings under one roof, in one country.
To be happy I must move to a more desirable location/ with TTC access/ in my spending range/ inclusive of all utilities.
To be happy I must be loved/ more/ in the way that I want/ better/ more!
To be happy I must have every episode of Sex in the City/ Six Feet Under/Tales of a City.
To be happy I must be well-read and informed on all subjects/ have read all the good books/ all the books my friends have read/ all the books I should have read.
This list clearly could go on and on. What I've learned from making this list is that after achieving any of these goals, I tend to make new ones, thus delaying my happiness for later. What I'm realizing is that happiness is free, without restrictions or conditions. I really can, if I choose, be happy right now.
How about you? What's on your "musterbation" list?