As if one isn't enough, I've joined yet another book club! This one meets only after church during the Lenten season. I was interested because observing Lent isn't a tradition I grew up with. Plus I'm hoping this will be a way for me to meet people in the the church. My only problem with this book club is ironically the book!
I'm even embarrassed to reveal the title! "Happiness Now!" Exclamation Mark! It just begs to be mocked. As I rule, I generally shy from crossing the fiction/non-fiction divide and I would place "self-help/personal growth" at the very depths of non-fiction. It's sooooo not my thing. It reminds me too much of Charlotte in "Sex in the City" walking down the aisle of a bookstore getting increasingly depressed. Or like Marie in "When Harry Met Sally" when she leans over and murmurs to Sally, "Someone is staring at you in "personal growth."
It's not that I'm against happiness per se. I like to be positive and find contentment in life. I'm just leery of the pursuit of happiness (yes I know it's unAmerican). I'm reminded of my close friend who was always trying to find happiness. In the end he gave up hope and ended his life. He just couldn't find any joy in life.
Also I have to wonder- is it selfish to want to be happy? To want "it all"? Or should I be content and grateful for what I already have? My mother always told me that happiness is a choice and we control our own emotions. (She also told me when I came out that she would rather me be "good than happy"- so does this mean it's sinful/wrong to be happy?) And if happiness is indeed merely a state of mind, something within to be discovered, does this contentment in turn breed complacency?
And is happiness solely an internal thing? When I made a list of situations when I felt happy, I was either with family or friends or I was in service to others. Conversely, situations that cause unhappiness are also external as well. I pose this question: what if one can't find happiness internally, on their own?
I actually don't think there is anything wrong with receiving outside help like counseling or medication. Some people use music or art to get to a happy place. Others use sex, drugs (legal or illegal) to get to a state of happiness. It boggles my mind to think of so many unhappy people in the world searching for external solutions for something so internal.
Which brings me back to the God who isn't outside but is inside of me. Reminding me that I am worthy of loving. Reminding me that I am a beautiful creation, made in His image, not broken or in need of repair. And that's pretty amazing, when you stop to think about it.
So who knows? Maybe happiness can be now! Stay tuned!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
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4 comments:
Ooh ... good post Dan! I could have an hour long discussion on this! I think the pursuit of happiness can be a very dangerous thing ... you have hit the nail on the head in that people are looking externally for it. It is fleeting and really just smoke ... disappears very quickly. In saying that, I am not saying we should go through life miserable either. Just happiness comes from within ... perhaps it comes from contentment.
Happiness is a shallow thing I think ... it is so based in the moment and dependent on circumstances. I think joy is a deeper thing. Joy is not dependent on circumstances - it so often transcends them and rather than pursuing it, it tends to well up from within ... am I arguing semantics?
Again, I think the key to it all is contentment. You nailed it when you posted to me in my last blog ... "whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul."
I am happy and I had to work at it. It wasn't easy but it came. not sure what the pursuit of it is.
I think happiness is the same as contentness, and that I AM!
I think it is purely an internal thing
I think people who pursue happiness through other people or through things are in for a wrold of hurt.
I don't think happiness and contentment are the same. I think happiness is achieved from outside sources. Hanging out with my friends makes me happy. While contentment is gained from within. I consider myself a very content person. My life is where I want it to be and I enjoy each day (even if I shake my fists in the air). I don't think that automatically translates into happiness because each day there are lows along with the highs. So maybe it isn't happiness we need to be pursuing, but a sense of contentment with ourselves and our place in the world. I do think that we should concern ourselves less with the pursuit of happiness and more with the pursuit of good work which you even alluded to can give us great happiness.
P.S. No lent as a kid? Is that a Baptist thing? We always observed it as Presbitarians.
I think of happiness as joi d'vivre (enjoying my life). I'm not filled with laughter nor have a bubbly disposition every second of every day, but I sure am contented - even pleased - with where my life is right now. And in the long run, I'll take daily contentment sprinkled with moments of joy. It's much more enduring.
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