I have to admit that, in spite of myself, I do wonder from time to time what I’m doing in this country, away from my family and things that are familiar to me. I’ve resisted fantasies of relocating because a) voluntarily making numerous life changes all at once is never a good idea and b) I’m unsure what shape my life would take if I did move closer to my family. So with all this uncertainty running amok through my head, I feel like Jennifer Coolidge’s character in “Best in Show.” She’s backstage, eating popcorn by the handful and isn’t sure what to do, so she just continues to stand there stuffing her mouth until her instincts tell her otherwise.
Sometimes, however, I get a small sign that I’m exactly where I'm supposed to be. And when I get one of those signs, I am so grateful. One such sign happened yesterday when a frightened, nervous student met me for coffee only to reveal that she had fallen in love with a woman she had been friends with for years. Even better, this love has been returned. She didn’t know who to talk to about this and I was someone she knew she could trust. She asked me if it was wrong to love someone that way and if God was angry with her. Not only was I able to reassure her that God loved her very much but I was also able to share how much my faith has helped me in loving myself and showing love to my family and friends. It was a very memorable conversation and I was touched she felt she could talk to me about her fears about an unimaginable future as well as her joys over emails, phone calls and a future visit.
My life has these moments and I treasure them. A phone call in the middle of the night telling me of a positive test result. A heart-to-heart over things our fathers did to us. An email venting frustration about the discovery of an ex’s true orientation. A friend telling me he doesn’t want to go on living. Holding the hand of a dying person and not saying anything at all. I’m thankful that God has put in the position to be there to share these moments and I just hope (and pray) that I can listen without judgment and respond with discernment, wisdom and most of all, love.